After Mom died Dan and I flew home the next morning, I awoke with the stomach flu. Christmas morning I was sick as shit, I was terribly sad and I had a hole in my heart. Not only had I already lost my Dad earlier in my life, but now I lost my Mom too.
My mom was an amazing person who lived her life making others happy. She taught me to always be myself, to love myself, to laugh at myself to have fun. Every day she woke up she made her bed, took a shower and got dressed with her Mr. T starter set (that is what we called her gold necklaces), perfumed, hair perfect. There was NEVER a lay around day for Mom she was always on the go. It used to drive me nuts but I think I have a little of it too, ask Brett… I can’t stand to have nothing to do.
Now it is 2017 – I have no parents. This is normal in life but I wasn’t even fifty yet so it seemed unfair, too early! Someone said to me but now your the Matriarch! I do not want to be the Matriarch! I am having a hard time not having family above me. Yes, I have an two Uncles and an Aunt but its just not the same. It is too early in my life to not have parents. No one tells you about this feeling… it is like your a new member to a club of emptiness. Who do I call for advice? Who do I ask how to make homemade ranch dressing? I guess for me now I turn to friends as my family. My husband, my girls they will help me fill the hole in my heart.
A journey back to me 